Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”
Why does this not have any notes?
lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”
“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”
“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”
But something in his expression screamed:
“I can’t handle you.”
And she thought then, that perhaps all relationships were just a case of who gave up first. And her pride couldn’t decide which was worse: giving up when you had promised them not to, or waking up to find that they had given up on you.
don’t talk about tumblr outside of tumblr not because it’s some cool elite website but because it’s fucking embarrassing
No, it’s because we can’t have the people on the outside (i.e. people who aren’t on Tumblr) to find out about this colourful, magical world we log into multiple times a day
see this is what I’m talking about
everyone has that “thing” about them that people talk about when you’re not there.
WHAT IS MINE
this was a while ago now but we found a lake and flowers in the bushes and it was so pretty
reasons to let me cuddle you:
- I will stick my cold hands all over your body
- I’ll probably fall asleep on you and make cute sleep noises
- I can lay there long enough for the second coming of christ
- I will be smiling the whole time
- you’re warm and I’m not
- let me leech your heat